Monday, January 16, 2012

Story #2

It was close to midnight when Carrie decided to go for a night time stroll. Getting out of bed she tried not to disturb her wolves, which happened to be at her feet.One of them stirred but other then that they were fine. She threw a warm cloak over her clothes, then quietly slipped out the door and into the corridor. She had to get passed the guards posted near the outer gates of the peasant country. Carrie had done it countless times, so what was once more? She nimbly hopped onto the stone wall surrounding the castle. She had no idea why a stone wall was necessary and made a point to ask Meta about it later. She jumped onto a tree that came closest to the wall and climbed down. She made her way over to the eastern side gate. There was where she'd slip out from, the guard there was old and constantly fell asleep.  She never ratted on him though, for he was friendly and had a family to feed. Carrie was about to walk out in the open when she heard footsteps marching along on the cobblestone. Strange she thought why would he be up, did the guard switch already? "Great!" she said in a hushed whisper, "The guards have different schedules now."
         She had to think quickly for if the pattern was still the same she had less then two minutes before he'd be able to see her. Well as she thought about it she realized she just had quite an easy solution. Through her mind connection with her wolves she call upon Kazimir and Kazimira, her most trusted wolves. As Kazimir and Kazimira came around the corner the guard got quite startled. He tugged on his sword protectively but ceased his movement as he say who it was. Kazimir was as white as snow and very famous around the castle because he always accompanied Jen during her daytime walks. Kazimira, however was as dark as the night with a new moon and no stars.
"Kazimira I know it's extremely late but would you accompany me on my midnight stroll tonight?" Carrie whispered into the wind so only her wolf could hear.
        Kazimira looked at her with golden eyes inquisitive as to what sort of trouble they would get into this time. Mira had been Carrie's protector for years, and nothing was going to change that. So now that they had a plan, it was time to put it in action. Kazimir, the white one, trotted towards the guard and growled softly, then he yipped and motioned with his head for the guard to follow.  The guard hesitated for a moment before obediently following the wolf back into the castle. When he had his back turned Carrie and Mira slipped behind him like a shadow. She gentle opened the gate, which thankfully all gates were well oiled, so it didn't make any noise.
       The moon was full this night and the beautiful white light illuminated the surrounding forest. Carrie walked along the edge of trees for a while until she found what she was looking for. Mira padded softly off to her right, every now and again brushing against her leg. After several minutes of walking she spotted it, there it was, a dirt path that entered the forest. She could barely make it out with the moonlight shining through the leaves. When she was sure no one was watching her, she brushed aside the branches she used to cover the path. This was her jealously guarded secret, and she didn't want anyone destroying it. Just as she was about to step onto the path, a branch whipped up, catching her high on the cheek. It left an elegant looking scratch, one that was long and arched, it bled a small amount at the edges but nothing serious. Carrie laughed, she hadn't visited the forest in a while so that was its way of getting back at her. She apologized to the forest in her elvish language hoping that would soothe it's mood. Mira growled softly, not exactly liking the fact that Carrie now had a scratch on her face that she would have to give an explanation for. Carrie gave her a look but then pulled her cloak closer to her, and lifted the hood up before entering the forest.
       Carrie loved it here, it was so quiet and peaceful, nothing there to disturb her thoughts. She glided through the forest, like a dancing shadow. The rays of moonlight shone on her flowing black dress. They luminesed off her incredibly beautiful, long red hair. She wished her husband could see how beautiful this night was. They use to come out on a trail similar to this one, in the middle of the night close to this time. He had always put his cloak over her, holding her waist to his own. She always looked into his eyes and saw how much he loved her. She wished him here, even more than before now. And the more she thought about it the, more intense the feeling became. It started in her feet, then it crept up into her legs and spine, swirled around her head until finally it began to smother her heart.
       As Carrie fell to her knees, puzzled she heard a soft whisper. She could hear something, it sounded as if the wind was trying to tell her something. She heard it but was unable to completely grasp it. Mira howled and then it came, a woman's voice as clear as the moon.

1 comment:

  1. 1.Carrie wants to go for a midnight stroll, but isn't allowed/ she misses her loved one, who isn't there...She went on said stroll, and went to her loved ones favorite place...maybe if said loved one died...
    2.I didn't find much of an epiphany nor a character change, so I suggest adding at least one of them...
    3.I liked how she had used her wolves to distract the guard, for some reason I found that adorable...
    "Kazimir, the white one, trotted towards the guard and growled softly, then he yipped and motioned with his head for the guard to follow."
    4.I belive that the overall best part was how detailed the whole thing was, I found it quite amazing...
    5.Errrr......That's a hard one to figure out, I couldn't really find one sadly, but I'm not really good at that any way...
    6.Well I would certainly add more dialogue if possible because you really only have about 3 lines, and that's it.

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